The metropolis is sinking...

Just as the owners of the Titanic never saw the possibility of its sinking; I never saw Metro Manila sinking amidst the anger of the unforgiving rain-nay!-storm. I have never thought of the city as an invincible. unfailing place but I have never envisioned it to be incapable of defending itself against natural calamities.

True, the city has its resources; it is advanced; and it has the majority of the better off citizens. But yesterday, we all witnessed that even the grandest of walls could be faltered and deterred by a million stone-throwers, given enough time. The rain was strong but not unforgivingly strong. What made it cause damage is the length of time and continuity it was capable of withstanding. It almost never stopped raining yesterday and just when it seemed that it would surrender and leave, it shouts an angry scream-as if shouting at the people, houses, buildings and streets. Quite a sadistic storm Ondoy is.

Earlier that day, people were calling me, telling me that their parents would not allow them to step foot outside their houses thereby forfeiting their seats to my birthday party-a party that was to set a milestone in my life. My time to formally become an adult; a MAN. I remained optimistic that all would be well. After all, never has it been in the past that the metropolis did not stand tall amidst calamities. No, no, no, no, NO! The metropolis has much to boast to be taken down by a petty storm. What made me more optimistic was the fact that a good number of people were assuring me that they'd come til I woke up to my senses. Was I being selfish? Or maybe I just did not want to waste money since the contracts we entered were non-transferrable; non-refundable? When our relatives texted us of the situation in Sta. Mesa, I knew I should definitely cancel my gathering. This day was not about me. This day was about my loved ones who I may endanger for my stubbornness and when I saw the situation in the tv, I realized it further branches out to a grander scope. This day was about a good portion of the city being enslaved by nature's anger.

And so with this, we are left with more or less 50 people dead and a good hundreds or thousands displaced. People being stranded in their roofs. People being stuck in the streets. Cars being washed away in the streets as if they were mere debris, crashing into each other and floating around like they were cheap, disposable items...

It saddens me and I feel great sympathy to those who were affected by this tragedy. I am thankful that we were lucky enough to be unaffected by this calamity. However, I feel a strong urge to act. To do something about this dismal state we currently face.. I will talk to my siblings how we could send donations. If Citi will not have any campaign, I will simply join what Sunlife started early today.. Let us all do our part..





This truly is quite a humbling situation.. I now fully understand what the Bicol, Batanes, VISMIN areas go through each year when they get struck by these types of calamities.




God bless us all and may we all be better prepared in the future. Resilience does not prevent deaths and destructions caused by calamities..

i'm a year older.. i'm 21 baby!

i turned 21 yesterday. i wouldn't say i'm no longer a boy; i'm finally a man! since that is just sily..

it was quite a magical feeling actually. i never felt like it was my birthday. i was just happy that i got my first pay last friday so i was able to pay for dinner. that moment actually made me THE MAN! you know, providing and stuff.. lol.. i know it's petty but it's a nice feeling.. to digress, i am happy mark and kaye anne joined us for dinner. my parents and my grandma enjoy meeting our friends. i enjoyed a lot needless to say.

ok. i finally know how it feels like to be thrifty at all cost. i found a 5Gs pair of shoes in rockport and i felt hesitant to buy it-because i worked hard for the money i was about to spend. normally, i would have bought it but i declined this time. lol. i was kind of dissed they didn't have my size in leaveland. i really wanted to buy this authentic leather shoes on the side, crocodile leather up top shoes. i eyed on it 2 weeks ago and wanted to buy it when i get my first paycheck but they no longer have my size in their inventory. but God is good! i was able to get two pair of shoes for the price of one! my sister has great eyes on sales! 50% off baby! it also made me happy that my purchase allowed the sales guy to reach his quota. :)

i know this is senseless but i worked for 11 hours today. my mind is all hazy and i could barely keep my eyes open. hence, i'm dog-tired.

i'm so excited for saturday and the day before that and the day after that! lol.

i know what you're thinking... this is so retarded!


and even though i'm all legal to enter casinos and stuff, i won't! i hate casinos! i despise them! but that's another story to tell..


bon courage!:)

knowing if you really love what you are doing...

I have been thinking on what I really want to do with my life... And I couldn't think of a better question to ask myself than,



"If you had 100M in the bank, would you still get up in the morning and go to work?"



Makes you think right?



Market forces are stronger than you think...

For the desire of a normal life, I end up living THE LIFE!

If you would look at the title of my blog, I claim that I am an average Juan Dela Cruz. Indeed I am. I live the same way as everybody else does. (As I write, my sister's pestering me to convince me to watch kimi dora which i think may well be pure rubbish!). I have wanted this for myself. To live a life that everybody else could relate to.

Working is not living.
Partying is not living.
Eating is not living.
Sleeping is not living.
Bumming around is not living.


Being able to focus on what's at hand is living.

Working when one is working.
Partying when one is partying.
Eating when one is eating.
Sleeping when one is sleeping.
*Bumming around is not living; resting when resting is living.

I got this idea from a Chinese proverb discussed in Ernie Zelinski's The Joy of Not Knowing It All.

Living is being able to focus on the present; the task at hand.

If one lives the present well. There should be neither be regrets in the past nor worries in the future.

I say this because up until a year ago. I was focused on accumulating as much wealth as possible; gain financial independence and live life or so I thought.

But living that kind of life is almost like not living your life at all. Pissing your years away. A real shame for mankind. Living this kind of life not only makes us empty but confirmed freeloaders in this earth. We are consuming-draining its resources without toiling for its betterment and progress. What else do you call that?

And this is why I have set my mind that no matter how well I become; no matter what happens; I will work and toil; I will party and be merry; I will eat and replenish; I will rest and recover; and I will do all of those enjoying each and every aspect along the way.

It's the beauty of life. It does not bore you with one specific thing. It makes you see all of its aspects. It is up to you to live life as it is. Enjoy life as it should be and not indulge in one aspect of it.


I live life to the fullest! I hope you also do the same.


Enjoy the ride! :)

Erratum and Addendum to remembering Sir Tioseco...

Erratum:

I was in the ledge with some friends when he lent me the DVDs..

Addendum:

The 9-hour film was entitled Heremias.

Remembering Sir Tioseco...

I don't have much time in my leisure during the day. What is sad is I don't have much to think about since what I do for a living is very mechanical. Almost everything is done systematically by a set of procedures developed way before I started going to college. So it is not until I travel home or when I am alone in my bedroom; trying to get myself to sleep that I start to think about stuff, id est if I am not kept busy by a book or video games.

There is nothing to be fond of this day except for the nice-ness of finally having new hires in our company that makes me feel less of an alien to my surroundings. (To be fair, let me point out that a lot of people have been very nice to me. I won’t give names for the simple reason that one’s being unnamed might be presumed as a sign that they have been hostile or unfriendly to me. I am very thankful to my officemates who did their best in trying to make me feel that I belong; that I am someone they enjoy having around them. And I certainly hope that the arrival of my co-neophytes and the apparent warming of my colleagues would be an indication that I would finally be in the inner circle. I certainly hope I will never have to go to Paseo Center and tell the waitress to give me a Table for ONE.-I’m sorry sir?-Table for ONE. AS in ONE. Let us all pray for this.)

I am sorry for digressing from my real intent of creating this entry. As I have said, there is nothing to be fond of this day. From the start of my day when I was suddenly given additional batches when I am not yet done with the current load that I have; from the arrival of the urgent batch; to the text message that I got from a close friend:

“Bien! D’you knw what I heard in th news? Sir Tioseco is dead! He was murdered by a thief in his house together with hs Slovenian girlfriend. T_T” (Message copied in verbatim)

Coincidentally, I met this friend from Mr. Tioseco’s film class where we were asked to create a presentation about cinematography. Believe it or not, a simple requirement from this class would allow for three-years of wonderful friendship that we do not even think of each other as friends. We consider each other siblings as I call her my Lil Sis and me her Big Bro. It is not just the tie that Sir Tioseco allowed for us to have that made my film class special; it was Sir Tioseco himself that made the subject a big part of my CAS life.

I will never forget the very first day that I entered Mr. Tioseco’s class: I was 15 minutes late for class because I got confused with the classroom assignments. It was unusual at that time for me to be embarrassed for being late; being cocky and all. But I was a bit embarrassed when I entered his class late because he was interrupted in explaining the course syllabus.

I shyly said ‘Hi sir. Sorry I’m late. I was confused with the classroom assignments.’

He in turn replied politely: ‘Hi, sir. What is your name?’

With this warm welcome, I became more comfortable; once again back to being the cocky teenager I was. ‘Bien Landicho, sir.’

I was weirded out when he said: ‘National Artist! There is a certain Bien Landicho(?) that became a National Artist a couple of weeks ago. So you’re a National Artist!’

With this, I replied with a bit of sarcasm that could easily be mistaken as being unsure, ‘Great!?’

To this, the class laughed and Sir Tioseco told me I was a very polite young man. To this date, I was not sure if he returned my sarcasm with his own.

The weeks that passed by were quite out of the ordinary. We spent a lot of time viewing short films and discussing in class our thoughts about the film. We discussed cinematography, editing, directing, audio-visual effects and prior to this class, I only cared about the actors and how I could relate to it. It was an interesting experience. It is also quite interesting that it was the first time I heard of such names as Khavn, Lav Diaz, Kidlat Tahimik, (Dennis Marasigan even!) etc. It was quite nice. He asked us to write journals on the films that we have seen. One of which, put me into tears as I remembered my deceased paternal grandfather. And it was quite amazing how a professor would show empathy to his student’s journal entry and even send an SMS and tell to you in person his concern.

He really was not just a professor or a film critic in that sense; he was a person who cares. In every class we had with him, he would make sure that no voice is unheard. If you have something to add and say in class, you’ll have your chance to do so. If you’re sharing something, he makes sure everyone gives you their full attention. At one point, one student was not yet done speaking when it was time to leave and we were preparing our stuff to leave when he said, ‘Listen to ___.’ To this, we continued to pack our stuff while listening… And he shouted, ‘WITHOUT PACKING YOUR STUFF!’ We definitely obliged. He was sensitive enough to make sure, everyone is given their due.

The thing that made him most popular or unpopular to the students is the required screening of the sequel to Batang West Side; a 9-hour film. I do not understand why I remember petty details but I cannot seem to remember this film’s title. A lot of people were dissed and annoyed with this movie. And I have to be honest; I was one of them-at first.

Come the first class after the screening, the cocky teenager that I was, I made a sarcastic comment before classes started with Sir Tioseco listening, ‘Hay Kat! Too bad you missed the movie. It was a very wonderful movie! There’s nothing like it. It’s the best movie I have ever seen.’ People found it amusing. Even sir himself, found it amusing but I would soon eat my own words when a day or so ago, I was able to gain so much from that viewing. And to this day, I would never forget those realizations. Movies are shortened for economic purposes but movies should be created not for economic purposes.

Second to the last gesture that I would not forget of sir, was when I was hanging out with some friends in Prom A and he came running towards me saying, ‘Hi Bien. I brought the DVDs that you were borrowing from me. Just return them when you finish them.’ And it wasn’t until two weeks after the semester that I would return them; almost forgetting to return them.

The final gesture that I would have to point out as it may not be known by other people (possibly because it is overshadowed by his achievements) is his concern for the less fortunate. When we were shown the film High and Low by Akiro Kurosawa, he put us in a predicament that the rich guy was placed in: ‘Would you give the money to the kidnapper that would cause you to lose your position in the board for the son of your driver who was kidnapped in place of your son?’ When one student from an earlier class (I won’t mention the name), ‘I’ll say, ‘screw you! That’s not my kid!’’ Sir Tioseco replied, ‘______, every morning I see your driver cleaning your dad’s car in the parking lot and sometimes I tell him, ‘Manong, baka pwede namang padamay.’ He makes sure that your car is clean and he does it so without extra pay. He does it out of concern.’ Beat that! And when I approached him twice to ask for donation and to buy some raffle tickets when we were gathering money for Mt. Pinatubo evacuees and our organization’s funds, I did not have to say two words for him to help out. He quickly took out some cash (meager or substantial, it doesn’t matter).

And though I do not get to watch much indie films nowadays, he is responsible for me, having On the North Diversion Road (which I watched for the 4th time a month ago) and Bayaning Third World in my movie library. And even after film class, my friend and I who became siblings after his class try to make time to watch indie films (Tatlong Taong Walang Diyos, Mababangung Bangungot [Perfumed Nightmares], Bright Future, etc.]

Thank you sir! For the values you instilled in us; for the dedication you have given us; and for allowing us to have better taste in our choice of movies!

(Wow, I really have great memory)

Rest in Peace. May justice be served! I have you in my prayers.

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Looking back, I am amazed with how Sir Tioseco lived his life. Though he could have reached higher places and I know he could have helped the Philippine film industry in a bigger magnitude, I have always admired his persistence in pushing through with his passion – INDIE FILMS in the PHILIPPINES.

Looking back, how come I haven’t started my lifelong dream? Reminiscing on how you lived your life, I wish one day I will have the courage to do what you have done-pursue my passion against all odds.

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entry written yesternight, just got home from his wake